With the Xbox One launch mere days away, many gamers will be preparing their fortress of solitude (aka, bedroom, living room, gaming room) for countless hours of next generation gaming. The November launch has been known since the console was announced during the first quarter of the year and, if you were smart, then you will have been planning for this day ever since. You may have shipped the wife off to her mothers, sent the kids to their great uncle’s castle and booked the day off work, but there are a few more key things to bear in mind for the big day:
1) Take the day off.
If you haven’t booked it off yet, then start laying some ground work for taking the day off sick. Cough a little more than usual, line some cold medicine by your desk at work, learn to fake a really good sneeze. Also, make sure you don’t mention the SUPER AWESOME THING that is happening this Friday. People will put two and two together when you don’t show your face. Also, consider taking Monday off as well because a) who has the flu for just one day and b) an extra day to spend gaming!
If you plan on spending 3 whole days killing zombies, building a zoo, pwning noobs and scoring goals, then you need to keep yourself stocked with supplies. Drink plenty of fluids, keep the pizza place’s menu close by and keep the toilet seat up for easy access. You may wish to consider a commode for several days, but remember to keep your window open. Also, make sure you keep moving – DVT is a genuine threat to the hardcore marathon gamer. Consider hopping on an exercise bike during loading screens and cut scenes.
3) The midnight release will be a high priority for many gamers, unless you plan on sitting by your mailbox on Friday morning.
While waiting in line, remember to wrap up warm – it’s November after all. Take a flask of hot chocolate, and make friends with those around you in line, you never know who you may need to rely on during the onslaught once midnight rolls around. Consider taking a foldable chair with you – your legs will thank you for it later.
4) Patience is a virtue.
Remember, there is going to be a pretty meaty update to your Xbox One once you turn it on and find an internet connection. This is to rectify the ‘issues’ which bothered gamers once the console was originally announced. Consider having your Xbox 360 on standby for this painful time.
5) Xbox One is designed to be sat flat beneath your TV rather than upright like its predecessor.
Make sure there is adequate room for the new behemoth. Also, with your PS3, Wii U, Blu Ray player and Xbox 360 already hooked up to your TV, you may be lacking a free HDMI port. You should make a decision in plenty of time ahead of launch day which slot must be sacrificed. We suggest PS3.
6) You sound system should be fully set up before engaging in gaming with Xbox One.
You will want to fully appreciate the pant wetting excitement of being harassed by zombies behind you while playing Dead Rising 3.
7) Prioritize your software.
Xbox One has the most impressive lineup of games of any of the next generation consoles, so make sure you know what you want to play ahead of time. With such a great array of games to choose from it will be easy to become flustered – take your time, choose wisely and enjoy. Which game will you be playing first?
8) Unplug the phone.
We can’t be having any unnecessary disturbances. For emergencies, advise people to send either carrier pigeons or singing telegraphs.
9) We suggest tweeting and posting facebook status updates every hour about how much fun you’re having with your new Xbox One to annoy the PS4 army.
If possible, post photos of yourself cuddling/kissing your Xbox One console to really rub it in their faces.
10) Wear pants while playing.
You don’t want to be caught out by Kinect taking a photograph of you showing off your particulars.
There we are – 10 useful steps to make Xbox One launch day go smoothly for everyone. If you have any useful tips for us then please post them and let us know. It’s going to be a big day for us all!
Article by - Mike Jeavons
Insert Date: 11/20/2013